Posted by: Aaron McCarter | July 23, 2007

Church policy on Tattoos

Recently one of the pastors in our church wrote me an e-mail asking me what our church’s policy was on tattoos. We didn’t have one. So, since we love having as many policies as possible, I scrambled to write one up. I thought some of you might have the same question….so here it is…

We have a very strict policy on tattoos:

Tattoos with girl’s names are strictly forbidden because they’re lame.

Tattoos involving any sort of brand names or logos (especially beer cans or anything floral) are forbidden for the same reason.

Men are forbidden to have tattoos on their toes or lower ankles because putting tattoos there is considered ‘cute’.

Women are forbidden to have tattoos in places that only their spouse can look…because that’s just plain frustrating for me.

Copying someone else’s tattoo is strictly forbidden, because it’s pathetic and can cause strife within the body.

A man who weeps while receiving a tattoo shall be castrated…for obvious reasons.

And finally, any male with a lower back tattoo shall be excommunicated and handed over to Satan.

These are the rules of tattoos, and they are unflinchingly rigid.

…other than that, they’re pretty cool…and can be great conversation starters with people who don’t know Jesus.

Sincerely and Authoritatively:
Reverend McCarter



  1. Qoute “A man who weeps while receiving a tattoo shall be castrated‚Ķfor obvious reasons.”

    Deuteronomy 23:1 No one whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off shall be admitted to the assembly of the Lord.

    BTW congrats on the pregnancy, you guys will be inour thoughts and prayers.

  2. Ouch…

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